Gun compartment.Oh, shit! One of the sites wasn’t even porn. I’ll get it.” I was like, “Exactly.” Exactly. This is fuck-up weather, that’s what this is. I’m pissed. I’m trying to learn how to ski. It’s important to understand that you go through levels in life. We’ll get into all those reasons as the show goes on. I’d rather go back to work and throw boxes at the goddamn wall than deal with that baby today. Hurry up! I’ma give you what you want. She tries to talk like she’s not drunk, but she’s clearly drunk. Okay. She’s a tough fucking girl. Goddamn! I was nervous. What did you say?” “I’m so fucked up!” They messed up the game and I was killing the game. You don’t want to get to marriage three, four, and five. Lesson number one that I learned, is that whatever happens in Vegas, does not stay in Vegas! August 8th, 2019 | COMEDY. Shoulder-shrugged it like it was nothing. You know what I’m talking about.”Ladies, I will say this though. He made his choice. Okay. [DJ air horn] My wife was drunk. Come on, man. Shit hit the fan for me and my marriage. I’ma give you what you want. You see the baby in the blinds. I was in the house for three hours by myself, acting out shit that never happened.Oh… Oh, shit. Huh? It’ll freeze the blood up.” I don’t know where I got that from. We have game night at my house once a month. Having fun is a very difficult job.

Once again, this is a true story. I got braille on my butt, this is disgusting.”Whenever you go through any insecurities, especially when it comes to sex, as a man, we all turn to the same place for answers. You got your bed, you got your bowl.

You got “not drunk” and “stupid.” You skip all this space, like literally! – Have a good show, chief. I chose to get back into bed. . My son is exactly like me when I was a child. You don’t own this week.” I said, “Hell if I don’t. Ever seen a woman when she’s drunk? Okay? She said, “My porn search is in my cookies.

Let’s say we’re playing. What? I’m about to die. As I’m getting closer, I’m like, “I’m about to hit this kid.” My instructor start yelling, “Fall! Don’t nobody got to use the guest bathroom?

I got the stroller up, but I can’t get it down. I just can’t get low.

I don’t think I did it right on the way over here.

Kevin Hart fucked up again.” I want to make something clear to everyone here tonight. You’re just looking for a death buddy. “I’m sick of your shit, Hendricks. I truly believe that I would not be where I am today, if it were not for my support group. “Fuck! They were like, “Oh!” He said, “Cuss at me again, Kevin, I’m gonna bust your ass.” I said, “Fuck you.” He said, “Fuck you.” When he said it, a piece of spit flew out his mouth, landed on my wife’s forehead. If you and your lady are having sex and your lady laying on the side and your kids come and bust in the room, you can play that off.

She takes it outside the game of Monopoly.

I have never been more disgusted with myself as a man until I saw the bottom of my goddamn feet. What?

“You got to be fucking kidding me!” I said, “You want me to get it? – That’s my message. “My kids are your kids. This is where you go crazy. They were changing light bulbs, putting shit on shelves, hanging paintings. I couldn’t get mad at them because they came in my room based off of a rule that I put in place. [DJ air horn] Get the fuck out of here.” “You gonna do me like that. I had to have a conversation with myself. Right now?

They looked at the whole thing. Bad Kevin was like… “Say it was a leak in the ceiling.” I said, “Now get… the hell out of here bad Kevin.” “Yes. I knew it was real ’cause when we start going down, this lady, she was like, “He got my baby!” I was like,”That’s not good. . I didn’t know if I really wanted to have another baby. What makes me laugh is when people act like they live my life. I feel like when I’m out here, we might as well get to the shit. In my first marriage, I filed for a divorce. Ugh, ugh, ugh! Copyright owners may, if they wish, request to have material removed by leaving a comment on the relevant page.The materials archived, stored, and presented here, are copyrighted by their respective contributors, and may not be saved, re-transmitted, republished, or reformatted by any means, electronic or mechanical.

Right now, I know some women are thinking to themselves like, “So what Kevin? And you best believe I’ll be back!Love this and I sour it ages ago just to let you know heart ❤️All material for educational and non-profit purposes only. That shit shot across the room somewhere. At least let me masturbate on the couch one last time. Gun compartment.Oh, shit!

If you’re a parent here tonight, and you don’t think your kids curse, you’re a stupid parent. Don’t nobody want no left-over turkey?

You back out the goddamn driveway. This is my favorite joke, alright. Oh, fuck it. I don’t want to talk about it. What did I say? You would have thought that I was Tom Hanks in I love the fact that I can travel. Gun compartment.Oh, shit! What the hell is going on in there?” I don’t want to blow my cover ’cause I want to hear what my son says back. This how you gonna do me? As soon as you walk out the house, your kids let it fly. He was treating the baby like a loose basketball at the playground. If you real good and you got your bottom half covered up, when you sit up, you can technically keep fucking while you talking.

Everything I saw was big. I saw the signs: emotions, feelings all over the goddamn place. Now, I’m not good at math. I’ma give you what you want. I don’t really like having company over my house. Get your ass up out of here.My biggest fear was I didn’t want my kids to try to talk to me about what they saw. When women get drunk… Women, you guys can get stupid when you get drunk.

Is it happening right now?” She said, “Mm-hm, something’s coming down my leg.” Oh! Immediately got disappointed. I love you. They want you to get comfortable with going from right to left and falling.



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