<< /Length 6 0 R /Type /XObject /Subtype /Image /Width 610 /Height It’s not that there’s a pain contest—it’s simply that people who are dying often envy those who get to live, in the same way that people who want a child or partner and don’t have one may have trouble listening to friends’ concerns about their own children or partners.
Sometimes the fear they read on their friends’ faces when these friends see these physical changes triggers their own already tremendous fear.
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You say that your friend is a very private person; as close as you are, letting you see her this way may make her feel too exposed and vulnerable.Of course, I understand your heartbreak, not only because you miss your friend’s presence in your daily life right now, but because you don’t have the opportunity to grieve this tremendous loss with her in a way that you would find meaningful. Terminally ill people still love and care for their friends, but their friends’ concerns can be too painful to bear.Finally, your friend may feel self-conscious about her physical decline. Will he have to I also feel like it’s so selfish of her to retreat in this way, as if a friendship only goes one way. About four months ago, I traveled out of the country; around the same time, she decided that she needed to disconnect from our friendship in order to stay focused on her own situation. Nothing seems to work until Piggie returns as herself. Would you do it differently? But you can’t know for sure unless you find yourself in the same situation. I am so sad that we may not have much time left to spend together. In My Friend Is Sad, upbeat, outgoing Piggie cavorts to cheer up depressed Elephant, whose doldrums are obvious from his furrowed brow and drooping, stovepipelike trunk. Disconnecting from the people and things one enjoys can be a natural part of the dying process.
Let them know that you’re thinking about her and miss her, and that they should feel free to pass that along if they desire. stream The [RTF] My Friend Is Sad An Elephantand Piggie Book from the best author and publisher is now handy here. >> >> 2 0 obj << /Type /Page /Parent 7 0 R /Resources 3 0 R /Contents 2 0 R /MediaBox I feel like I'm already mourning my friend.
Ask other relatives or friends to help, and take steps to prevent becoming frustrated or burned out.
Contact her family (though they aren’t “super close,” they’re likely helping out) to get updates on her condition so you aren’t left wondering. Write her one warm and candid letter in which you let her know how important she is to you, what you love and admire about her, and how her friendship has affected you. Although I know her so well, I can’t relate to this state of mind. endobj Title: Gerald_pigHug Author: paul leibow Created Date: 3/19/2007 12:39:08 PM endobj More important, the way you’d choose to spend your time doesn’t have to be the way she does.Many people with cancer have told me that they were, in fact, bothered by something a friend said or did or felt, but didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to confront the friend and instead simply withdrew. Well-meaning advice on treatment options, self-care, mind-set, support groups, and what to eat can feel overwhelming and intrusive.
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• In . You mention a major life event that you want to share with your friend, but she may not have room for anyone else’s concerns given how profound hers are. But what does it take to make a sad elephant happy? Depression symptoms do improve with treatment, but it … Very sick people don’t want to have to make others feel better about the fact that they’re dying.All of that said, your friend has told you that there was no issue between you; assuming that is the case, she may nevertheless feel a need for distance. Some people with late-stage cancer have told me that even when their friends are there in ways that feel supportive and nonjudgmental, they just don’t want to face healthy people. Do share fond and funny memories from your friendship, and let her know that should she be up for it, you’d love to be there for her right now—whether that’s taking her to appointments or to an escapist movie or to a bar for a stiff drink. She can choose not to read the letter, to read it and throw it away, to feel grateful for it but still not want to be in contact, or to send you a note letting you know where she is in her process at this point. Don’t share your anger with her, or the fact that you’ve had something major happen in your life.
Whatever she does is up to her.
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